Iran accused the United States on Wednesday of fabricating video and audio released by the Pentagon showing Iranian boats confronting U.S. warships in the Persian Gulf.Dudes, if you knew anything about America besides the belief we're all a bunch of infidels, you would know we couldn't possibly have fabricated that video.
The video from Sunday's incident shows small Iranian boats swarming around U.S. warships in the Strait of Hormuz. In the recording, a man speaking in heavily accented English threatened, "I am coming to you. ... You will explode after ... minutes."
"The footage released by the U.S. Navy was compiled using file pictures and the audio has been fabricated," an official in Iran's Revolutionary Guards was quoted as saying by the state-run English-language channel Press TV.
It's obvious, if Americans were going to fabricate a video of some little speedboats in the water buzzing around, there would've been a John Williams or Hans Zimmer score playing in the background. Tom Hanks would've been there as captain of the American destroyer with Tommy Lee Jones as the crusty old admiral and Will Smith as the wisecracking-slacker-with-a-heart-of-gold lieutenant. They would have seen Christopher Lee in dark make-up as leader of the terrorist cell with Keifer Sutherland playing the crack CIA operative climbing onboard the lead speedboat.
And there would've been a dog - usually a german shepherd or collie somewhere. Plus a monkey. An orangutan. And aliens. Somewhere, hovering nearby, would be an alien ship observing the conflict for future invasion. The Rock would be the President, and Uma Thurman his VP. Mariah Carey and Steve Tyler would sing a rock ballad duet over the end credits....
C'mon, this is America. When we fake a video, we do it right.