For The Love Of God, Say It Ain't So

Report: Michael Jackson Father to Quadruplets

"With all we've heard about Michael Jackson, it would seem there would be nothing left to shock us -- until today. A published report claims Jackson is about to become a father again, and this time -- it's quadrulplets."

But wait, there's a break in the clouds:

Michael Jackson Denies He Fathered Quadruplets

'On Tuesday, Jackson's publicist Raymone Bain denied a report in Us Weekly that Jackson is about to become a father to quadruplets via a surrogate mother. "This is not true," Bain told Reuters, "and we are not going to further comment on stories of this nature."'

And the nation breathes a tentative sigh of relief...however, here is apparently the real story:

Michael Jackson Fathers Brood of Puppies

Now that one I can believe...