Monday, May 09, 2005

Being Paranoid Doesn't Necessarily Mean They're Not Out to Get You...

I had settled in Saturday evening to watch a DVD. Everyone was in bed, the house was nice and quiet... It had been a warm day, the windows were open permitting a nice breeze and the ceiling fans were slowly turning.

The video ended, and I apparently drifted off to sleep.

Some amount of time later, I awoke to a loud noise... Coming from the wall where the TV was. I jumped up, still half-asleep - apparently, according to my wife, yelled, "What the hell???" - and quickly glanced around the room. Still the noise came, the sound of someone, or something, trying to claw its way through the wall of the living room behind the TV. Scraping, scratching... I stumbled forward toward the entertainment center, searching for the source of the noise. I literally could not completely rouse myself and fought sleep as well as extreme concern for whatever creature was trying to forcibly enter my house.

At this point I was able to finally ascertain that I was, indeed, awake and that the noise was real. Again, later, according to my wife I loudly said, "Good God!?!" because I couldn't see or figure out what the noise was. The DVD had finished and the TV itself was quiet. Nothing else was on - VCR, sound system, cable, nothing but...

My eyes drifted upward... the ceiling fan directly over my head. Caught in the blades of the fan was a lone, forlorn white balloon Tink had collected at her school's Balloon Festival earlier in the day. Adrift on an ever-shrinking supply of tepid helium, it had wafted its way across the room and become entangled in the ceiling fan. At that moment it had decided to make its presence known, and cause an unholy ruckus which sounded for all the world like the advent of alien predators into our home.

I probably said something else even worse at that moment, but I don't recall and Laura didn't say she heard anything else.

So I crossed quickly to turn off the fan. The noise quickly subsided, restoring peace and tranquility to stately Barry Manor.

Curse you, you rubberized ruffian! I shall have you; I shall climb upon a ladder and pluck you from your bladed prison and exact my retribution. I Shall Be Avenged!

...tomorrow. Cause I'm really sleepy now.

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