Hail to the King, Baby....

Saddam Offers Rewards For Coalition Lives

"Saddam Hussein has decreed that any Iraqi who kills an enemy soldier will get a reward equivalent to $14,000. And $28,000 will go to anyone who captures an enemy soldier alive, the decree said, according to the official Iraqi News Agency. Shooting down an enemy fighter plane is worth $55,500, a helicopter, $28,000, and a missile, $5,500. Killing the pilot will bring $14,000; capturing the pilot alive is worth twice as much.

C'mon, guys, open up the pocketbooks. I think I got more points for that playing Duke Nukem III.

And where and when exactly is Joe Iraqi soldier going to collect this booty? The 1st United Hussein Bank of Hell? I hear the drive-thru windows take an eternity to get through, and the suckers all taste like black licorice...