Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Fumbling the Ball

I'm talking to you.

Yes, you. You, the one reading my blog right now. Are you at work? Do you have a job? I'm assuming you do, since most people who visit my site are not students. On the off chance you are a student, then disregard what I'm going to say. Better yet, read it and prepare yourself cause I could be talking about you in a few years, too.

So now that those kids are safely sitting in the back with their chips and beer, I'm now talking to you. You poor working schlub, who has to drag themselves out of bed each day and either go to the office, go to the computer, go take care of the kids, whatever job you have. Yes, you.

I think you're doing a really lousy job.

Yes, I do. I've watched you these last couple years - you probably didn't realize it but I have. I've watched you closely. And I don't like what I see. No, I do not. And it's time for me to do something about it.

The way your company is performing...I don't like it. I think it could be much better than it is. In fact, I expect your company to outperform every other company in the region and in the whole country, year in and year out. Consistently, no excuses. Failure is not an option, and complete success is the same as failure. Clear? Good.

Why do I care? What connection do I have with your company that makes a difference to me how well you do? Um, well, nothing really. To be honest if your company has a down year it really doesn't affect me in the slightest. My world will go on just as it always does, I won't lose any money and my quality of life won't be diminished a bit. In fact, if your entire industry went away tomorrow it probably wouldn't make a big dent in my daily plans. I would notice the absence, but other things would fill the gap. No big deal.

But I still think you're doing a lousy job, and you should be fired.

Well, no, I don't know exactly how to do your job. I mean, I know I don't have the skills to do it. In fact, I've never even worked in your industry before. Sure, I've watched the company for years and enjoyed their products but do I know beans about how you do what you do? No, not really. Do I understand your pressures, your schedules, the idiosynchrasies of the people that work under you (and over you), or anything else about what it takes to do your job and do it well? No. But I know what I like, and I don't like what's going on. No, not one bit.

I think you're the one to blame for it all. Sure, everyone gets bad breaks every once in a while. Yes, you've had some productive years as well. But hey, that's yesterday and today is today and you should be out of here because succeeding today is what counts.

What, you have a family to support? Not my problem. Kids in school? Yeah, join the club. Should've thought about that before screwing up so badly. Why should I care? It's not my job we're talking about. I've never met you, never met your family so you might as well not have one as far as I'm concerned. Because when a person is fired you can't worry about the family's well-being. Gotta protect the company, cause that's what matters.

You screwed up. At least, I guess you screwed up. It had nothing to do with mistakes other people made this year, right? You were responsible for their actions, right?

Ok, just to make sure I'm clear now. You stink, and should be fired. I like your company, and enjoy your company's products but that's my only connection to you. I don't know how to do your job, or how it should be done. I know there are lots of people around you working toward the same goal but somehow since you're the one with the high profile, it's all your fault. And me, with no call whatsoever in your future, think you should be fired.

And in fact, I feel so strongly about it I'm going to tell all my friends what I think. And they're going to agree with me and tell all their friends. Maybe one of us unconnected third parties will even write a letter to the newspaper and say you should be hung out to dry. Maybe we'll even call a radio station. If I can get enough people who don't know you and don't know your job to raise enough stink maybe we can really get you fired! That'll turn that company around and solve all the problems. And it will happen right away, if not soon--

What's that?

You resigned??


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