Monday, January 05, 2004

The Top 10 Complaints of Time Travellers

10) It seems Citibank still has you in its system, and you owe about $30 million in late fees.

9) Step on one little butterfly in the distant past and everyone acts all mad at you once you return to... er, your post-apocalyptic world... um, ruled by sentient kudzu...oops....

8) Cell phone reception in the ninth century? Really friggin' lousy.

7) Hey! It was MY turn to execute Hitler!!

6) You used to be able to just hang out with your friends, but now all they want from you are tomorrow's winning lotto numbers.

5) You'd think someone with a time machine would realize how quickly a DeLorean would get dated.

4) It's surprising how violently intolerant historic cultures were of strangely dressed people who appear out of thin air.

3) It's so difficult to keep track of which Bush recession you're in the middle of.

2) By going forward a couple of weeks, then coming back and sending in all of next week's TopFive submissions, and still failing to get a #1, I've pretty well determined Greg hates me.

and the Number 1 Complaint of Time Travellers...

1) "I traveled back in time to kill my grandfather and all I got wa-- "

[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
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I love Time Travel.

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