How I Spent My Friday Evening

The gang and I all went to Sonic tonight. Sonic has nothing to do with this story, really (except I'd like to explain to everyone how truly wonderful and special their Cherry or Watermelon Slushes are), but it's the basis of what happened.

So we're getting ready to leave. The Ewoks decided they'd like to sit at the little tables out front (but, but, but.....the point of a Sonic is to Get Your Meal Delivered To Your Car So You Can Eat In Your Car. That's why it's built that way! But I digress). I've strapped Gigglegirl into her car seat, and stepping back I hold the edge of the frame with my left hand and slam the sliding door of the Ford Windstar closed.

On my left thumb.

For a moment, time froze. I looked at my thumb, half inside and half outside. There wasn't a lot of pain, and for a moment I thought, "This door has now automatically locked. It will take me seven minutes to contort myself around with my right hand to reach through the open driver-side window to push the auto-unlock, and even longer to convey the direness of my situation to my wife". But, thankfully I avoided the stress of all that decision making and simply opened the sliding door back up. Ah, the elegance of simplicity.

I looked at my thumb, still gripping the frame. It appeared to be in one piece, which is truly a good thing - especially if you work at a computer keyboard for a living designing websites, as I do. Then...oh, like a snickering childcatcher from "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang", the pain slithered malevolantly in.

Now, I'm The Dad. The Dad doesn't show pain, or scream, or start singing, "Carmina Burana" at the top of his lungs in agony. Not with impressionable 8-year-old boys around. BrainyBoy was, however, oblivious on the other side of the car, sucking down the remains of his Watermelon Slush (good taste, he). So I do the most manly thing I can do - I hunch over, thumb between my knees and wait. For the inevitable.

"What happened?" my wife asked, waiting patiently in the passenger seat.

i slammed my thumb in the door

"What??"

I slammed my thumb in the door!!

So, after a few quick breaths I regained my composure, re-closed Gigglegirl's door (c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y), got in and gingerly started the car. I looked at the thumb, and tested range of motion (Fonzie "Aaay" move? check Hitchhike? check Emperor Commodus passing judgement on Maximus? check) Ok, nothing appears to be broken. Pain's lessening, actually. Not too bad. Drive off, a little wiser.

Actually the worst part was seeing half a thumb outside the car, and hoping against hope that the inside part was still actually attached.