Thursday, August 21, 2003


One of the RTB's newest members, Queen Medb's Castle, has deigned to shower her grace down upon me, and offer up five interview questions for me to answer in front of God, John Ashcroft, the New York Mets, and the rest of the world.

Part of the rules is that I will do the same next Friday to whoever leaves a comment that says "interview me". So, please, feel free!

*Rules, as laid down thruout history:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying "interview me." I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as you see here).
2. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions. (Kindly leave me a comment telling me that you have!)
3. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
4. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. (Not the same as mine, of course.)

Anyway, here we go:

1) Are you interested in guns, and if so what gun would you most like to own?
Oy vey, vhat a loaded qvestion.....;) Ok, SayUncle and others, just plug your ears and go, "la la la la - I'm not listening!!!"

I hate guns. I loathe guns. I appreciate their usefulness in the professions of law enforcement, security, and the military, but I fail to grasp the slightest hint why anyone would feel proud to own one. I don't see why anyone (outside of above jobs) would see the need to carry one concealed on their person. I don't think the statistics of successful defense of one's home against unlawful encursion outweigh the risks to accidental discharge by a child finding one in their parent's bedside table.

I believe the 2nd amendment provides for allowing guns in use of a state militia, meaning a National Guard. I don't see how it can be interpreted to say it allows private citizens to own guns and keep them in their homes for their own personal protection or other purposes.

I don't derive any pleasure from the thought of hunting. Going out to deliberately shoot deer, rabbit, quail, ducks, etc turns my stomach. I understand many people eat what they catch, but it's not a survival necessity today.

Guns are not glamorous. Guns are not a symbol of status, guns are not bats/knives/javelins/hammers/golf clubs - each of those weapons have different primary purposes.

The one and only use of a gun is to injure or take the life of another human being or animal, and leaves no room for second thoughts.

Does that answer your question? :)

2) Lake, river or ocean?
I remember growing up here in East Tennessee, on a Monday morning in school everyone would say they went "to the lake" for the weekend. Just which lake in particular was rarely specified, but supposedly there was a lot to do "at the lake". I never went "to the lake", so I have no idea what the big deal was - partying in a houseboat? Waterskiiing? Picnicing? Well, we did that too, but never "at the lake". Hm.

Similarly with rivers, we have the big Tennessee River that oozes through Knoxville - it gets wide enough to be called Fort Loudon Lake as it runs through downtown (could that be the "lake" they were referring to? Naah, not unless you wanted to dodge carp while waterskiing and risk growing a third arm). I've only ridden on personal boats a few times down the river - it was fun, and I'd like to own a boat someday.

But, the ocean...*ahh*. I love the ocean - and I'm not necessarily talking about what's out off the Panama City Beach coast (where I got stung by a jellyfish when I was 12), but the Ocean. My wife and I went Carnival Cruising on the Paradise last fall for our 10th annualversity, and snorkeled in St. John's, kayaked and swam with sea turtles off the coast of Barbados, and explored the black sandy beaches of St. Lucia. I saw the northern coast of Cuba ("Yoo hoo....Fidel!! Over here! Yoo hoo!!!!) and watched a rainbow on one side of the ship while a waterspout menaced the other side.

The Ocean. Definitely.

3) If you could have any magical/mystical/superhero power, what would it be?
That's a great question. When considering the myriad of superpowers of all the superheroes I can think of from DC and Marvel Comics, there are so many great ones to choose from: Super Speed (my hero is, and always has been the original modern Flash, Barry Allen), elasticity (Mr. Fantastic, The Elongated Man), invisibility (The Invisible Girl), power ring (Green Lantern), and ice power (Captain Cold, Mr. Freeze - ok, they're villains - and Ice Man).

But the best is in the basics as they say, and when it comes right down to it the absolute best superpower anyone could ever have is:

Flight. Definitely.

4) How much cash money is in your wallet/pocket right now?

What, are you going to hit me up for a loan?

I had about $6 in ones, then I knew we were going swimming with some friends this evening and going to order pizza so I got out another $30. I used $10 of it for the pizza, so now I guess I have $26.

What the heck kind of question is that? :)

5) If you could be famous for something, what would you like to be?
I would like to be famous for being the Father of one of my children who just did something wonderful - found a cure for cancer, achieved world peace, that sort of thing.

Barring that, I'd like to be famous in a small circle of people for being a very good Theatrical Director.

That's it - Thanks, Your Majesty!

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