Lost Beneath Lake Michigan

Wouldn't it be funny if this were a fake?

The iconic Stonehenge in the UK is one of the most famous prehistoric monuments in the world, but it is not the only stone formation of its kind. Similar stone alignments have been found throughout England, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales… and now, it seems, in Lake Michigan.

According to BLDGBLOG, in 2007, Mark Holley, professor of underwater archeology at Northwestern Michigan College, discovered a series of stones arranged in a circle 40 feet below the surface of Lake Michigan. One stone outside the circle seems to have carvings that resemble a mastodon—an elephant-like animal that went extinct about 10,000 years ago.

While an American version of Stonehenge would be very cool, if quite inaccessible for tourists to visit, finding out a bunch of archeology students at the University of Illinois or Northwestern planted their version as a prank or a research project would be great.

Equally possible is that somewhere on the monoliths are carved the numbers, "4 8 15 16 23 42" and "815".

It's a Runaway

Sixth foot found on B.C. coast

Another human foot has washed up on British Columbia's shores - the sixth in less than a year and the second in three days. The latest foot was discovered yesterday on a sand spit in the Vancouver Island community of Campbell River. The foot, believed to be a man's right foot in a black running shoe, was discovered by a woman searching for rocks.

Right now, for those of you scoring at home is 5-1 in favor of the right feet. It's possible the left feet could jump back in the competition, but right now I think the rights are going to run away with it.

Ok, sorry.

Anyway, this is a great and bizarre and terrible story that has my interest piqued. How in the world do six severed (not broken, but actually deliberately cut-off) feet suddenly appear and begin washing on shore in British Columbia?

Personally my favorite theory is that it's a new viral campaign for next season's "Lost" and they're feet of the Oceanic 815 victims....

I'm Not Running for President, and Neither Are You

Bloomberg: I'm not running for president

Mayor Michael Bloomberg has squashed the notion of running for president this year, declaring that he will not seek the White House but might put his support behind another candidate who embraces bipartisan governing.

Yeah, well, I'm not running either. So there. I win.

I'm also not running for mayor, County Commission, dogcatcher, or in the New York Marathon. Does that get me an AP Wire story? Probably not...

Soon To Be A Major Motion Picture..

Iranian TV: Pentagon video, audio fake

Iran accused the United States on Wednesday of fabricating video and audio released by the Pentagon showing Iranian boats confronting U.S. warships in the Persian Gulf.

The video from Sunday's incident shows small Iranian boats swarming around U.S. warships in the Strait of Hormuz. In the recording, a man speaking in heavily accented English threatened, "I am coming to you. ... You will explode after ... minutes."

"The footage released by the U.S. Navy was compiled using file pictures and the audio has been fabricated," an official in Iran's Revolutionary Guards was quoted as saying by the state-run English-language channel Press TV.

Dudes, if you knew anything about America besides the belief we're all a bunch of infidels, you would know we couldn't possibly have fabricated that video.

It's obvious, if Americans were going to fabricate a video of some little speedboats in the water buzzing around, there would've been a John Williams or Hans Zimmer score playing in the background. Tom Hanks would've been there as captain of the American destroyer with Tommy Lee Jones as the crusty old admiral and Will Smith as the wisecracking-slacker-with-a-heart-of-gold lieutenant. They would have seen Christopher Lee in dark make-up as leader of the terrorist cell with Keifer Sutherland playing the crack CIA operative climbing onboard the lead speedboat.

And there would've been a dog - usually a german shepherd or collie somewhere. Plus a monkey. An orangutan. And aliens. Somewhere, hovering nearby, would be an alien ship observing the conflict for future invasion. The Rock would be the President, and Uma Thurman his VP. Mariah Carey and Steve Tyler would sing a rock ballad duet over the end credits....

C'mon, this is America. When we fake a video, we do it right.

Quick Hits - From Lost to Rocks to Mayo

• Billboard entices 'Lost' viewers (Knoxville News Sentinel, 01/08/08)
  

  A billboard for fictitious Oceanic Airlines greets travelers on Interstate 40 eastbound just before the West Hills exit. The ad is related to the upcoming season of ABC's hit television series "Lost."

  I'll take personal responsibility for "Lost"'s popularity in Knoxville. Thank you, thank you... ;)
  

  McGhee Tyson Airport spokeswoman Beth Baker said Monday that the airport has received no calls inquiring if a new airline is coming to Knoxville's airport.
  
  "There was a 'press release' last week that we discovered that named Knoxville as one of nine cities that fictitious Oceanic would begin serving.
  
  "I was surprised to also see a billboard. My best guess, being a fan of the show, is that the character Sawyer's tie to Knoxville is why we were chosen to be one of the cities. All of the nine cities have ties to characters' pasts," Baker said.
  
  ...
  
  Also, it was unclear Monday if Knoxville would be mentioned in upcoming "Lost" episodes or if the nine cities are all homes to characters in the show.

  Just for the record, early on in the series the character of Sawyer (a southerner) was shown to be carrying around a letter he had written as a child but never mailed. The return address on the letter was Knoxville, TN, establishing Knoxville as his home town. It hasn't really been mentioned again in the series that I recall but that could change.
  
  
• Rock ruling lessens sentence - Boulder not considered destructive device, state appeals court rules (Knoxville News Sentinel 01/08/08)
  

  In a landmark decision Monday, a state appeals court has removed a rock from the list of weapons deemed under state law as destructive devices.
  
  The ground-breaking ruling comes in the May 2004 death of Barbara J. Weimer, 69, who was slain when a 10-pound rock heaved from an Interstate 75 overpass smashed through the windshield of the van in which she was traveling.
  
  The ruling does two things. One, it fills a gaping hole in a state law that made it a case of first-degree murder to cause a death by throwing a destructive device. Two, it cuts the prison term of Weimer's killer, Alford Lee Morgan, from a minimum 65-year prison term to 18. With credits for good behavior, Morgan could be eligible for release now in as little as six years.

  This is yet another example of how reality can be warped by those that sit back and allow it, and how anyone can get away with virtually anything today. To not consider the little "redneck fun" they were taking part in as anything less than deliberate, wanton, reckless endangerment with intent to cause massive bodily harm is a complete idiot. I'm usually not so crude, but this ruling is just revolting. Oh wait, one more quote that's also pretty revolting:

  "This is a great day for Alford Morgan," defense attorney Russell T. Greene said Monday. "This has been a four-year battle to finally get to the point we said we should have been all along."

  A great day for the moronic killer of the woman driving along the interstate, minding her own business, when she's smashed with a 10-pound rock. Yes, Mr. Greene, this is a great day. I hope nobody ever uses his services as defense attorney again.
  
  I wish I could offer some brilliant blogging insight into this story, but there's really nothing to be mined from it. The court was completely inept and negligent in overturning this conviction, the attorney should never practice law again, and the perpetrator should never again see the light of day. It should be blatantly obvious to everyone, and those that agree with the ruling or have sympathy with the perpetrator I will never be able to understand. I only hope a higher court can restore the original sentence.
  
  
• After that last story, I almost could care less about anything else, but then there's this bit of sports news:Mayo expected to enter NFL draft; Foster may follow
  

  The NFL's college advisory committee prompted mixed responses from three Tennessee juniors considering leaving school early.
  
  Linebacker Jerod Mayo was projected to be a late second- or early third-round pick and is expected to forgo his senior season and enter April's NFL draft, a source said.
  
  Tailback Arian Foster was told he likely would be a second-round pick and is still contemplating his decision. Foster is thought to be leaning towards going pro, the source said.

  Hear this, guys. Mayo, if you do get drafted the first day you'll get picked up by the Falcons or the Lions or the Chiefs or something and never heard from again. Get that, you'll never be heard from again. Foster, whoever told you you'd be a second round pick after the year you had was telling you what you wanted to hear. If you leave now, you're screwing yourself out of an NFL future. Both guys need to return for their senior years and get another year of experience. Trust me, the rate of return will be much higher. Look at Robert Meacham - he left early for the draft and did nothing all year on whatever pro team drafted him. Had he stayed around Tennessee not only would it have helped us immensely, he would've been drafted much higher this year and perhaps actually played as a rookie.
  
  Except for the very rare exception, any player going out as a junior is kidding themselves about a real future in the NFL outside of 3rd string obscurity.

Pooch Kick

Man who placed kicked a dog gets light sentence (Knoxville News Sentinel)

A man convicted of kicking a dog like a football and killing it has been sentenced to 30 days in jail.

Chad Crawford had faced up to a year in jail after being found of aggravated animal cruelty in October.

...

The man accused of holding the Yorkshire Terrier for the kick is also facing a trial.

I hate this story. I can't understand how someone can do something as deliberately cruel as this to anything. And I think the sentencing should've been more severe. But as vile and disgusting as both the act and the lack of real punishment are, there's something tremendously funny about that last sentence regarding the guy holding the terrier.

Does this mean there are also charges pending against whoever was the long snapper?

Please, Just Don't...Don't....DON'T Get Them Wet!

You remember last month I warned everyone about the gremlins in the water?

Is it just me, or does there seem to be an inordinately high number of school closings lately, especially those based on breaks in the local water systems?

• Broken water main washes out Pigeon Forge classes
  
• Water problem gives Jefferson County students school break
  
• Water main break closes Pellissippi’s main campus
  
• Central High back in session tomorrow after dishwasher problem

Either there's some mad plot by a Batman-type villain, determined to keep students out of school (Could it be the dreaded Drainer? Or how about the Mad Sprinkler? Or dare I even mention the maniacal Captain ColdorHot?) That or there are some fiendish Gremlins wreaking havoc across East Tennessee, determined to get wet after midnight and spawn more of themselves.

Well, apparently the gremlins couldn't get enough of Pellissippi water, because they're at it again - this time at another campus:

Classes are canceled Thursday night at Pellissippi State's campus on Magnolia Avenue, due to a water line break.

Officials say classes are expected to resume Friday morning.

Maintenance crews are working to make repairs.

What are they making these water lines out of - posterboard? Saltine crackers? Flan???

So This Is How the Invasion Starts...

Mystery illness strikes after meteorite hits Peruvian village

Villagers in southern Peru were struck by a mysterious illness after a meteorite made a fiery crash to Earth in their area, regional authorities said Monday.

Around midday Saturday, villagers were startled by an explosion and a fireball that many were convinced was an airplane crashing near their remote village, located in the high Andes department of Puno in the Desaguadero region, near the border with Bolivia.

Residents complained of headaches and vomiting brought on by a "strange odor," local health department official Jorge Lopez told Peruvian radio RPP.

...

"Boiling water started coming out of the crater and particles of rock and cinders were found nearby. Residents are very concerned," he said.

Didn't War of the World's pretty much begin this way? Only this time, they're giving the illness to us...

Time to head for the hills!

Sing with me! "Uptight, out of sight...."

Red Rover, Red Rover, tag's all over

An elementary school has banned tag on its playground after some children complained they were harassed or chased against their will.

"It causes a lot of conflict on the playground," said Cindy Fesgen, assistant principal of the Discovery Canyon Campus school.

I read these stories and just shake my head and laugh, sadly. I can't help wondering, what kind of home lives did these poor administrators have as children? Do they have no memories of running around outside playing tag? Red Light Green Light? Red Rover?

I may be a slightly above-average protective parent to my kids, but in this area that means not being so overly permissive you let them do whatever they like, or indulge them so much you throw them 15th Birthday parties complete with high school Chippendale dancers and new cars... I can't help but wonder how sad these admin's childhoods must have been, to not be allowed to play tag - and how repressed these current kids' lives will be.

'We have broken speed of light'

A pair of German physicists claim to have broken the speed of light - an achievement that would undermine our entire understanding of space and time.

Dr Gunter Nimtz and Dr Alfons Stahlhofen, of the University of Koblenz, say they may have breached a key tenet of that theory.
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The pair say they have conducted an experiment in which microwave photons - energetic packets of light - travelled "instantaneously" between a pair of prisms that had been moved up to 3ft apart. (Link)

If this is true, I'll finally be able to break out my suitcases I've been saving for just such an occasion (well, that or an alien abduction) and travel to the stars...

Arcturus, here I come!

Of Course, Some People Go Both Ways...

Michael Silence hoists the championship trophy and declares victory:

When the history of new media is written this could be the moment cited when blogs became the MSM.

He's referring to retail giants Home Depot and Lowes removing ads from Bill O'Reilly's Fox Network show because he trashed blogs.

Ok. Maybe.

But then there's James Lileks, reporting on internet and TV coverage of the Minneapolis Bridge Collapse:

As much as I love the new media, you have to admit that the old mainstream media comes in handy in times like this. One guy with a website and a camcorder can provide perspective and unfiltered reaction, but there’s something to be said for organizations that have not only reporters and cameras, but helicopters.

(bold his)
It seems to me both forms of American media are progressing, and each has its own qualities and deficiencies...

I still don't have such a lofty view of blogging as Michael and some others do, as the heir apparent to American journalism and commentary. I'm am what I am, play my little piano, sing my little songs (Michael - reference?) and don't pretend to be any sort of reporter or pundit. And there are millions of bloggers just like that. The actual percentage of bloggers who might have some sort of public influence is pretty small - vocal, but small. The day bloggers replace the MSM is still pretty far off because the MSM keeps moving the boundaries.

With helicopters.

Yay Me!

Barry helps tame wildfires in Ga., Fla.

Tropical Storm Barry and its remnants gave a much-needed soaking to thousands of acres of burning swamp and timberland in northern Florida and southeastern Georgia.

The remains of the storm rode up the East Coast Sunday with gusty winds and rain falling as far north as Upstate New York, according to Weather Underground, a commercial weather service.

Did Barry solve the drought?

People in the Bay area are seeing greener lawns this morning. But how much of the drought problem did Tropical Storm Barry solve over the weekend?

On average, the Bay area had two-four inches of rain during the weekend. That put a dent in drought conditions, but the Bay area remains in a drought and needs considerably more rain to return to normal levels.

Tropical Storm Barry Helps Out Wildfires

Tropical Storm Barry brought some much needed rain to the wildfire that has been burning for weeks on the Florida-Georgia border.

Firefighters said that the rain definitely helped with the Dairy Road fire in Starke, Florida.

Glad to help!

Stop the Presses!!!

Gas prices actually dropped 2 cents at the Weigel's convenience store near my office, from $2.97/gallon to $2.95/gallon.

Woohoo! Now I can go on that cross-country trip to Portland in my SUV.

When, oh when will the madness end!?!?!

I'm Not Saying Anything Here...

..but doesn't it look highly odd that the brand new father-in-law of the TB guy (an Atlanta lawyer) is a CDC microbiologist specializing in the spread of TB.

Cooksey works in the CDC's mycobacteriology laboratory branch. He has co-authored papers on diabetes and infectious diseases, including TB. He recently co-authored a report on a bacteria outbreak in bone marrow transplant and oncology patients in a hospital water supply.

I just think it sounds fishy the lawyer contracted the very disease his F-I-L is an expert in.

If this were a Stephen King novel, the CDC guy would've been working with an experimental strain of TB at home when the son-in-law accidently takes a swig, thinking it's soup or something.

Anyway, that's just me.

"Ismael" is another spelling for "Is Lame"

Can we just end all the speculation right there?

Wait...if you add in "Ax" you could get "Lame Axis". Maybe he was an anti-Nazi?





Ok, that's what I get for watching too much Lost...

Don't Feel Too Bad...

News Sentinel Editor Jack McElroy issues a "mea culpa" of sorts on his site in regards to the headline in this morning's paper:

Blood on their hands: Did Va. Tech officials do enough?

McElroy explains a bit the thinking behind the headline:

The newspaper's story, we knew, could not and should not simply recite what occurred as if we were delivering fresh news. Instead, we knew we would have to examine new angles. Likewise, a straight headline reporting the massacre would seem quite dated, and the suggestion was made to look for a quote that might serve as a headline, advancing the story and reflecting its emotional impact.

Jack shouldn't feel too badly, since the Sentinel was trying to think ahead and project out what would be of interest the next morning. However NBC News Nightline last night presented an hour's worth of "coverage" that was little more than thinly-veiled accusations, innuendo, and "I wonder if..." masquerading as same-evening coverage of the massacre. Throughout the broadcast (at least the first half, after which I couldn't watch any more through my disgust) the NBC News staff floated all kinds of questions like, "Did administration officials do enough" without real evidence at that point to back any kinds of questions up.

We hear it all the time these days...no questions may exist in a particular controversy until a reporter floats out a speculative question or two - then through repetition the questions become accusations and reputations are ruined.

I'm not saying they're at all untrue - the Va. Tech officials may have a lot to answer for in the days and weeks ahead - but at that point in the story it was too soon for the media to begin pointing fingers, winking and nudging the hand of blame away from the shooter and toward the school.

But it's all in the name of ratings, of course. Sensationalism is the norm, and just reporting the facts is boring.

News Sentinel, at least you tried to think ahead. You deal with an impossible 24-hour news story turnaround in an instant access news world. But NBC has no such excuse.

This Just In....

Tennessee's oldest resident dies in Maryville

Marion Stout -- thought to be the oldest person in Tennessee -- has died at a Maryville nursing home. She was 111.

Our crack staff of gully dwarf newshounds have set out to interview the newest oldest resident of Tennessee, but have been unable to track him/her down. Reports vary but most seem to say the person is in hiding, shaking in their boots as they know they are surely the next to go.

Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.




(I know, old SNL Weekend Update joke. But it's still funny)

One Liners

• Imus Apologizes For Controversial Comments About Rutgers Players
  
  The only thing more pathetic than a Howard Stern is somebody trying to imitate a Howard Stern.
  
  
• Bleakest climate report approved
  
  It's so important to make global a political issue with both sides, it's going to slip up and turn into a disaster.
  
  

UPDATE (04/09/07): I wanted to pull this out of comments and put it out here to explain a little more what I meant...

Buck said:

I love Don Imus. I have listened to him for years and years.

I figure he did not call the team anything that their coach has not already called them at times when they were behind at the half or what they called each other when their play was not up to standards.

Don has apologized. His apology this morning was difficult to watch for those of us who know what he is and what he does.

All that is left now is to write a check to Rutgers. I think that is what is called "reaching out". He should go ahead and do that and put this all behind him.

I replied:

There are comments that come out of people's mouths that demonstrate the kind of people they are, inside.

When you say something like Imus said, it freezes your persona for that moment in time. We get a glimpse of a person's soul. No amount of contrition, apologies, personal appearances, offers to meet with players/families/etc in the days following the event can remove the fact that the opinion exists and will continue to exist. We may forgive, and Rutgers may forgive but it does not expunge his permanent record, unless some clear pattern of behavioral change becomes apparent.

We all have terrible thoughts in our head. I daresay anyone reading this has a very good chance of having denigrating thoughts about blacks, whites, women, men, gays, Arabs, Jews, Yankees, southerners, Florida fans, Trekkies, NASCAR fans, fantasy league players, whatever. In our private, most secret thoughts we may get a flashing impulse across our brain: "That (person) is a real ****". But just as quickly, that thought passes by and reason, good taste and morality prevails. Sometimes we might even feel guilty for having such a judgmental thought.

But others allow those thoughts to find residence, and worse to come out their mouths and become public. When you make that step, the thought has already become a belief and you can't just apologize it away. You have to be willing to understand what was wrong about it, and take steps to correct it.

Rush Limbaugh has made similar comments about Michael J Fox. Comedian Michael Richards got in trouble for letting his latent bigotry come out when he was angered. Some of us remember Jimmy the Greek's comments many years ago.

We are commanded to forgive. Most of us do so freely, not because of the command but because we know it's the right thing to do. But we cannot simply shrug and say, "Yeah, we know you didn't mean it." because they did, and that fact will be around for a long, long time.

This Just In....

"Subversive elements" have taken over Michael Silence's blog, attempting to balance out Michael's All-Fred-Thompson-All-The-Time fervor with a hefty dose of Al-Gore-He's-Our-Man-If-He-Can't-Do-It-Nobody-Can linkagery.

Two thoughts:

1) Knoxville bloggers (at least those I know) give both efforts a big collective yawn, and

2) This is why I dislike group blogs, especially group blogs with too many divergent points of view. When both of them get over their political eruptions, maybe Michael can go back to blogging about important stuff, like, you know, paint peeling. Or County Commission. Whichever makes more sense this week...

An Untouched Comedy Mine

Astronaut to face attempted murder charge

A NASA astronaut charged with pepper-spraying and trying to kidnap a romantic rival was granted bail Tuesday, but her release was delayed after police announced they were filing an attempted murder charge against her, a corrections department spokesman said.

Astronaut Charged with Attempted Kidnapping

A NASA astronaut who drove hundreds of miles to confront a romantic rival, wearing diapers on the journey so that she would not have to stop to use the restroom, appeared in court today facing charges that included attempted kidnapping, and was ordered released on $15,500 bond.

When's the last time this kind of romantic triangle played out in the media? While the situation itself is very serious, still....you can't pass up fresh territory like Astronauts Gone Wild without doing something.

I mean, this sounds like the plot of the lost episode of "I Dream of Jeannie", where Jeannie's evil black-haired sister attempts to kill her with a magical BB gun to win Major Nelson's affections...of course Roger Healy accidently gets in the way, Dr. Bellows witnesses something he wasn't supposed to and hilarity ensues.