Either Or

I'm confused: are they talking about police tickets from red light cameras, or tickets still available for the UT/Wyoming game next week?

Tickets won't go away

Heard on the Radio

Yesterday on the Terri and Lee Frank show on AM850 (a local ultra-conservative radio show I only listen to because they talk about local issues sometimes. And even then, it's only when Sports Talk's at commercial), they were railing about how global warming and how the "Libs" (their favorite term) misuse statistics to support their case.

Never mind that the "Pubs" do the same thing as regard to global warming, but that's not the point.

A guy called in to mention that the night before at a Knox County Commission meeting, local Commissioner Mark Harmon (that is it say, local DEMOCRATIC Commissioner Mark Harmon, who is definitely one of the only honorable ones on County Commission) mentioned that according to statistics, based on the national average of one policeman per 1,000 people nationwide, Knox County has 56 too many officers. Based on the statistics, Mr. Harmon made an observation.

I hope everyone understands what he did - he simply stated that, compared to the national average, Knox County is above that average in number of sheriff deputies. That's all. Not an endorsement of the idea, not a recommendation that we fire 56 deputies, nothing like that at all. That's extremely obvious, isn't it? Right?

Not according to Lee and Frank, as Frank proceeded to practically explode at the notion that this (every unflattering name in the book conservatives insult liberals with that can be said on the air) Democrat was calling for 56 deputies to be fired, just to make the national average. In this day of increased crime - and he proceeded to rattle off recent crimes that have been going on around the area - Harmon wants to decrease the amount of officers on the street! The nerve of this city-living, peace-loving, soft-on-crime LIBERAL!!

Folks, this is a prime example of what happens when we continue to separate into our two camps of liberal/conservative or Democrat/Republican. I'm confident Frank knew full well just what Harmon meant, but saw an opportunity to attack a liberal and took it. And those listening who follow that line of thinking I'm sure just ate it up.

The more we continue to follow this traditional liberal vs. conservative model as the way to define our lives, our politics and our leadership the worse things are going to get.

So Does This Mean We Finally Get Our Flying Cars?

Some downtown Knoxville streets are changing direction

I take this to mean these streets will now be going up-and-down instead of side-to-side, right?

Right???

DON'T PANIC!!!!

SmartFIX40: Countdown to I-40 closure begins

Let the 16-month to 3-year media-generated panic begin.

I've read a hundred stories in the news about what's about to come.

And 9/10 of a mile stretch of the interstate in downtown Knoxville is about to be closed for repair and enhancement. Knoxville and Knox County residents react with a frenzy that's equal to 10 impending-snowstorm-grocery runs. Running in the streets, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria...

The media - that includes newspapers, TV stations, radio, etc - has made every effort to make this small change in traffic flow into a major, major traffic disruption. And that's now just what it will become, because people believe it will be.

If all this had been pushed to the back page of the local section, we wouldn't see traffic problems past the first day or so. Out of town travelers passing through would simply be redirected by signs through I-640 around town. Local folks traveling from West Knox to East Knox and vice versa would follow similar routes. People wishing to get downtown are surely passingly familiar enough with downtown topography to get where they need to go with only a slight delay or some extra time planning a route. It's simple - everything eastbound is open up to James White Pkwy, from which all of downtown is completely accessible. And being from the west, that's going to be the majority of the traffic anyway. Westbounders from the east may have a slightly more complicated time of it coming west, but still should know where you can go when you get off at Hall of Fame Dr. or Cherry St.

It's a huge package of a no-brainer, people. Just follow your noses and your instincts, and above all....

DON'T PANIC!!!!

Please, Just Don't...Don't....DON'T Get Them Wet!

You remember last month I warned everyone about the gremlins in the water?

Is it just me, or does there seem to be an inordinately high number of school closings lately, especially those based on breaks in the local water systems?

• Broken water main washes out Pigeon Forge classes
  
• Water problem gives Jefferson County students school break
  
• Water main break closes Pellissippi’s main campus
  
• Central High back in session tomorrow after dishwasher problem

Either there's some mad plot by a Batman-type villain, determined to keep students out of school (Could it be the dreaded Drainer? Or how about the Mad Sprinkler? Or dare I even mention the maniacal Captain ColdorHot?) That or there are some fiendish Gremlins wreaking havoc across East Tennessee, determined to get wet after midnight and spawn more of themselves.

Well, apparently the gremlins couldn't get enough of Pellissippi water, because they're at it again - this time at another campus:

Classes are canceled Thursday night at Pellissippi State's campus on Magnolia Avenue, due to a water line break.

Officials say classes are expected to resume Friday morning.

Maintenance crews are working to make repairs.

What are they making these water lines out of - posterboard? Saltine crackers? Flan???

This is Totally Unacceptable

A new No. 3 in Tennessee?

Chattanooga has been the fastest growing major city in Tennessee in the 21st century and may someday bypass Knoxville as Tennessee's third biggest city, according to new population figures touted by city officials Wednesday.

Ok, people, listen up.

For my entire life, Knoxville has lagged behind only Memphis and Nashville as the largest city in Tennessee, and has ruled the roost in the eastern section of the state.

Chattanooga has always been the kid sister to the south, straddling the border between Tennessee and Georgia. Nice rest stop on the way to Atlanta back in the days of 55-mph 2-lane highways, today there's a good aquarium and an IMAX theatre. I'm sure the folks that live there are very nice folk. But guys, it's Chattanooga. They have the UTC Moccasins, for goodness sake. And a place called Red Bank. And, oh my, Soddy-Daisy....

Knoxville has UT, TVA, Oak Ridge - not to mention the world's greatest blogging community - and hundreds of other things going for it. It's up to us, people of Knoxville, not to let those upstarts from downstate push their nosy selves ahead of us.

So don't move - stay here. I know our government situation is in a shambles, but hey, whose isn't? Relax. Retire. Find jobs. Make babies. Offer scandalous bribes. Do anything, but keep Knoxville #3 in Tennessee.

In fact, that's our new motto - repeat it often:

"KNOXVILLE! NUMBER 3 IN TENNESSEE!"

*sniff*. I feel so proud...



***Disclaimer: Citizens of Chattanooga, Red Bank, Soddy-Daisy, elsewhere - you have a lovely town. I'm just joking :)***

A Blow for the 'Burbs

Slartibartfast has some things to say to those who consider suburbanites the Great Over-Washed Heathen:

I was raised in suburbia. It’s all I’ve ever known. The commute, the multiplex, the mall, WalMart are all part of my “culture”. Many of the left consider themselves multiculturalists; we must accept others as they are, the argument goes, and not make anyone feel bad because they are different. Demands of assimilation are totally out of bounds.

I wish they’d apply their own standard to suburbanites. After all, our strength is our diversity.

Go read the article and the comments, they're very interesting.

I have a similar background as him - I was raised in Fountain City, which is a suburb of Knoxville on the north side. I lived there until I was about 19, and after a stint at UT I've lived in the West Knox 'burbs ever since.

I spent many emails and posts on the old Knox "K2K" forum (does it still even exist?) going round and round with some folks who think living downtown is all there is to life, and anyone who dwells outside the streets with numbers have sold their souls to the WalMart devil, sacrifice young children inside soccer goalposts and never eat anything that isn't fried or barbecued. While their tastes, of course, were oh-so-refined and oh-so-cultured living withing viewing distance of the defunct JFG Coffee Factory and the old Palm Beach Mill Outlet. There are certain local groupthinkblogs who will remain linkless that often harbor the same sentiments.

There's enough of life to go around, folks. You enjoy what you like, I'll enjoy what I like. Sometimes downtown interests me and I'll come visit and enjoy. I love going to Mast General Store on Gay Street, the Tennessee Theatre, the World's Fair Site, the Old City... I enjoy strolling around Market Square and any of dozens of other things to do in the center city area. But try and convince some people to come out to Turkey Creek to eat at, say, the new Table 15 restaurant or Abuelo's Mexican Embassy Cantina (I know, pretentious name) or at least shop at the Super Target... you'd think you'd proposed an evening of dumpster diving and a Shopping Channel marathon.

Let's lighten up, and if you truly confess to being multicultural, let's be multicultural.