Thursday, November 08, 2007

This is Totally Unacceptable

A new No. 3 in Tennessee?
Chattanooga has been the fastest growing major city in Tennessee in the 21st century and may someday bypass Knoxville as Tennessee's third biggest city, according to new population figures touted by city officials Wednesday.
Ok, people, listen up.

For my entire life, Knoxville has lagged behind only Memphis and Nashville as the largest city in Tennessee, and has ruled the roost in the eastern section of the state.

Chattanooga has always been the kid sister to the south, straddling the border between Tennessee and Georgia. Nice rest stop on the way to Atlanta back in the days of 55-mph 2-lane highways, today there's a good aquarium and an IMAX theatre. I'm sure the folks that live there are very nice folk. But guys, it's Chattanooga. They have the UTC Moccasins, for goodness sake. And a place called Red Bank. And, oh my, Soddy-Daisy....

Knoxville has UT, TVA, Oak Ridge - not to mention the world's greatest blogging community - and hundreds of other things going for it. It's up to us, people of Knoxville, not to let those upstarts from downstate push their nosy selves ahead of us.

So don't move - stay here. I know our government situation is in a shambles, but hey, whose isn't? Relax. Retire. Find jobs. Make babies. Offer scandalous bribes. Do anything, but keep Knoxville #3 in Tennessee.

In fact, that's our new motto - repeat it often:

"KNOXVILLE! NUMBER 3 IN TENNESSEE!"

*sniff*. I feel so proud...



***Disclaimer: Citizens of Chattanooga, Red Bank, Soddy-Daisy, elsewhere - you have a lovely town. I'm just joking :)***

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