Prom Night

Tonight is Gigglegirl's prom.

She's 4.

Her daycare holds a "prom" for the kids who will soon be moving on to kindergarten. They're requested either to dress up, or wear some sort of cute costume. Gigglegirl's going to wear the Tinkerbell costume from this past Halloween.

She's 4.

No word yet on whether there will be any actual dancing involved. I've had my eye on the little boys in her class lately, making sure they weren't giving her any suspicious looks. Warning to all little boys: Daddy's watching.

She's 4.

What will it be like when she's 16? Don't ask - I don't want to know yet.

Volunteer Tailgate Party - Vol. XXV

Busy Mom is hosting the latest Volunteer Tailgate Party, a bi-weekly compilation of the best and brightest blatherings of the Rocky Top Brigade.

Set Your VCR's

TV briefs: CBS readies nostalgic specials for sweeps

"CBS' plans for the May sweeps period include several blasts from the past. The network will offer specials paying tribute to both "The Dick Van Dyke Show" and "The Carol Burnett Show."

Up first will be "The Carol Burnett Show: Let's Bump Up the Lights" on May 5. The special will reunite variety legend Burnett with Harvey Korman, Tim Conway, Vicki Lawrence and Lyle Waggoner for an evening of memories and never-before-seen and frequently-before-seen clips.

Less than a week later, on May 11, Dick Van Dyke, Mary Tyler Moore, Carl Reiner and Rose Marie will get back together for "The Dick Van Dyke Show Revisited," a new episode of the classic series set in 2004. In addition to catching up with Rob and Laura Petrie 40 years later, the episode will feature the usual array of memories and clips."

This is fantastic. Any new retrospective special with Carol Burnett is worth watching, but the Dick Van Dyke show update (something alluded to by Carl Reiner at last year's TVLand Awards) is something I've been looking forward to for years.

The Dick Van Dyke Show is my favorite sit-com, and it's the funniest, classiest, smartest and probably the most sophisticated sit-com that I've ever seen. Can't wait.

Mark Evanier has more.

Conversations: Saved by the Bell

More questions from Gigglegirl.

Gigglegirl (4): Daddy, can I ask you a question?

Me: Sure, honey.

GG: Can you tell me about babies?

Uh oh. Didn't we cover this?

Me: What do you want to know about babies?

Pleasebeaneasyquestionpleasebeaneasyquest--

GG: Daddy...how do babies get out of their mommy's tummy?

Me: Um... Er... Why don't you ask your mom when she gets home?

(Buck passed so fast I wore it out)

GG: No, I want you to tell me....How do they get out??

Me: Well, I know mommy can tell you a whole lot better than I can...

(searching frantically for a portable hole to jump into...)

GG: I want you to tell me....please, daddy?

R-I-I-I-I-N-N-N-G-G-G!!!!

(turn around, dash away to answer phone)

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Bloggercon III in Nashville?

I saw go for it. Only a couple hours west of here, and there are a number of East Tennessee bloggers that would probably participate.

Bill Hobbs and Rex are on the case, and so is new RTB member Blake.

Steve Kirks and Robert Cox also endorse the idea. And they don't even live here.

I'll bring a bag of Doritos, or something...

TV Tuesday

Stop me if you've heard this one...

Comedy Central unveiled it's list of the 100 Greatest Stand-Up Comedians of All Time last week. (The list was quite subjective, I don't know who voted, no one asked me.) But it was a fun series of shows to watch. They are replaying it endlessly if you'd like to catch it. You can view their list here, if you'd like some help coming up with names for this week's questions!

1. Who is your favorite stand-up comedian of all time?

I'd have the say the one stand-up whose material made me laugh the most was Bill Cosby, especially his "Fatherhood" routines. Second place would probably be George Carlin.

2. Which one could you do without? (Not your type of humor, or just plain stupid!)

Although he was at times mildly amusing, I could never understand the point of Sam Kinison. I was never really amused by Don Rickles' "insult" humor, either.

3. Which comedian do you think has gone on to have a great career aside from doing stand-up?

I think Robin Williams has had the most distinguished career outside of standup.

~Bonus~ If you went to a comedy club on amateur night, and they gave you some jokes and a microphone, would you go onstage?

In a heartbeat. I love to perform, and if I have material and something to improvise with, I think I'd do pretty well.

Thanks for playing - you are one wild and crazy guy!!!

Welcome to the Rocky Top Brigade

New Recruits:

Blake of Nashville Files Blog, Candi The Baseball Widow, and Cas Walker's Coonhunter's Journal.

Blogroll has been updated.

Welcome everyone!!!

My Brief Vacation

Spent the weekend at a church retreat in Townsend at the Valley View Lodge. My wife had to stay home to take care of some work and other personal responsibilities, so it was dear old dad who "loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly" on Friday...

BrainyBoy and Gigglegirl are, generally, pretty well-behaved when they're together. But as they say, don't push your luck. A weekend together in fairly close quarters can get both of them in a mood and this weekened was no exception. After a particularly trying moment at dinner one evening, I turned to someone and offered this heady, deep observation: "Single parenting sucks". Thank you, good night everyone. Drive safely!

In fact, the person I turned to was Single Parenting (tm) this weekend, as well. Her husband was on a separate spiritual retreat (the same one I was on last fall) and brought up her 7 and 8-year-old boys. Another friend, whose husband was also at that separate retreat, had her 8-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter. All four of our sons are good friends, and we tended to stick together through the weekend.

This being said, I have all the respect in the world for Single Parents. Having gone through the trauma of a divorce or death of a spouse, those who are forced by necessity not only to be father and mother - and empart all the separate life-lessons for both of them - but just the ability to consistently divide their attention between two or more kids is nothing short of amazing. There were moments when BB was out on the porch with the boys, and GG was riding a bike around the dinner area. Two seconds later, while I'm watching the guys throwing the football off the balcony I glance around and GG's gone. Three minutes of frantic searching reveal she's playing hide-and-seek from her little friend. In the girl's bathroom.

Well, I would've never looked in there...

Of course, having corralled her, I realize BB and the Boys (sounds like the name of a 60's music group) are chasing each other through the dining area. Lucky I brought my lasso...

Anyhow.

GiggleGirl woke up Saturday morning with a sore throat, a powerful thirst, a generous dad and even more generous amounts of the water tossed up right back at me a few minutes later. Shall we say....ick? Apparently the combination of copious amounts of water on an empty stomach did not make for gastronomical peace and harmony, so out it went all over her, the hotel bed, dad, and everything. Well, not to worry - got her cleaned up, some toast in her and some of her old perkiness returned. Dropped her off at the playground and next thing I know she's snarfing Cheetos at lunch. I kept a wary eye on her just in case.

The theme of the lessons for the weekend was on "Conflict" - resolving personal conflict, family conflict, and church conflict. The speaker was the pastor at a local church who was also a brain cancer survivor. He seems to know something of conflict... Interestingly, his wife was the sister of a former college friend of me and my wife - in fact, she was in Camelot that I directed back at the Wesley Foundation at the University of Tennessee in 1991. Plus I went to high school briefly with another of her sisters. So, small world....

When we got back this afternoon, both kids were beat. Both hit the sack easily and gratefully. So will I, soon.

Happy Birthday!

Brian Arner of Resonance is having his first blogiversary - go congratulate him!

A Touchy Subject

Black official accuses Wilder of making racial remarks (Registration Required)

'Lt. Gov. John Wilder made "openly prejudiced and racially biased" remarks to Capitol visitors, according to a Carter County commissioner who wants a written apology besides the phone call he got Thursday.

"During your introductory remarks you stated that 'because of affirmative action favoring blacks, women and other minorities, people like me (gesturing to your skin pigmentation) could no longer get decent jobs,' " commissioner Robert Davis wrote in a letter to Wilder, who is white.

...

The commissioner said he believes Wilder should resign, but the speaker said he has no intention of stepping down from the post he has held since 1971.'

Geez, why does it seem to be taking forever for this kind of racial bigotry to finally go extinct? And how long until our elected officials (or government appointed ones) finally realize when they're on camera and in the public eye before they go spouting off at the mouth? How long, also, before their younger and presumably more enlightened colleagues being indicating that there's no place for this in government society any longer?

We're relying on the Iraqi people to stand up for themselves and resist their uprising countrymen, and our representatives can't even stand up to their bigoted colleagues? We're counting on mainstream, moderate Muslims to denounce their fanatical cousins and we still have this kind of public behaviour?

Well, maybe someday.

But the other thing - Trent Lott made similar statements at Strom Thurmond's birthday (which a lot of bloggers get swelled heads at "breaking" the story). Lott's comments, though they didn't seem to be even as insensitive as Wilder's, caused pressure to mount for him to resign as Speaker of the House.

I think that these things should be dealt with privately, and to call for someone to resign their position based on one comment - no matter how ugly - is short-sighted, and vengeful. It serves no useful purpose, unless there's a demonstrable pattern of discrimination that affects how they (Lott, Wilder, whoever) do their job. But, of course, there's no record of this behaviour since the other senators and reps don't seem to have made a big deal out of this beforehand.

Guess we'll just have to wait.

Overstayed His Welcome

Judge tosses [Thomas "Zoo Man"] Huskey photo out of court (Registration Required)

"Prosecutors contend it is proof the woman who says accused serial killer Thomas Dee "Zoo Man" Huskey raped and kidnapped her in August 1991 is telling the truth."

If you live in East Tennessee, you'll understand what I mean when I say:

Is this guy ever going to go away???

It seems like he's been on trial and in the news since I was like, 11.

UPDATE (04/26/04): 'Zoo Man' verdict: guilty

Ok, maybe this will take care of it.

Yeah, right.

Please, Just Make It Stop!!!

When you're in a technical field, you're occasionally offered "free" subscriptions to certain trade magazines. Since I'm in the internet/website business, as well as the Healthcare industry, I get offers from both sides.

Some of the magazines are interesting, some are way technical and some are just strange. But a couple of years ago I subscribed to the magazine, "InfoWorld." I'm not sure if it's sold on the newsstand - I've never seen it there, and it's a little thin, so I assume subscriptions are how they make their per-issue money.

Now, free subscriptions are free in that they cost no money - which is good - but they require you to fill out either a physical paper form and mail it in (how 80's), or fill one out online. They want all kinds of demographic information about you, your company, how many people work there, how much $ it makes, what kind of decision-making power you have, etc. I generally don't mind filling this out because, hey, I want professional stuff headed my way. I do, however, make sure I carefully Not check the "Do you mind if we sell your email address to slimy 3rd-party spammers pretending to be legit e-commerce vendors" box.

So anyhoo (or anywho - you make the call), I'd been getting this InfoWorld for about a year. It was a decent little publication, but it was more for the IT industry than my job gets into, so when it came time for renewal I declined. That, I thought, was that.

Not so fast, tomato!

Well, I continue getting them. And getting them. And Getting Them. Did I mention it's a weekly? Every week (and it seems like occasionally it's more often than that) they keep coming in. And I keep tossing them in the trash. I also still get email renewal reminders, which I do not fill out.

Then about 2 weeks ago, I got an issue which on the cover said:

"KISS YOUR SUBSCRIPTION GOOD-BYE!

Unless we receive your renewal application immediately, this is your Last Issue.

Your free subscription to InfoWorld will expire unless we receive your renewal application by midnight on May 11, 2004, central standard time."

And so I think, "Ok! That's it! No more annoying magazines!"

Foolish mortal.

A week later, the next issue arrived. And today, another. Next week, another will also. And it will continue, like a bad Stephen King short story, to arrive week after week after week after week until I die.

And one of these days, your children will be travelling down an old country road and see a lovely cemetary. In the middle of the cemetary will be a lone gravesite, with about a thousand magazines stacked on top. And every 52nd one will say:

KISS YOUR SUBSCRIPTION GOOD-BYE!

My Legacy

I mowed my backyard last night, and having recently purchased a used copy of the Special Edition Return of the Jedi Soundtrack, I loaded it up into my portable CD player and listened as I mow.

Now, I love sci-fi and I love soundtracks. I have a tendency to get lost in just about anything John Williams scores.

When I finished, I came in all hot and sweaty, with the earphones still on and the CD still going. GiggleGirl bounces over and, after commenting about my general yuckiness, asks to listen.

The track "Jabba's Sail Barge Assault", a rather bombastic piece, was playing. I slipped the earphones over her ears.

Her eyes grew wide, and a big grin came over her face. And she started dancing and directing to the music, and generally enjoying the heck out of herself.

YES!!! I've found my blood-sister for soundtracks!!! Now she wants to watch the movie.

And so a little Jedi is born....

Random Spam Subject Heading in my Email Today

Subject: propellant immovable dinah extent lucas endgame recriminatory exploitation ar convivial perceptible mackintosh picnicked brindisi crocodilian ah mailmen confident cretaceous infarct lawsuit glacis impassable earth barbarism gneiss erasmus

Ok... no need to go any further. You had me at "crocodilian".

I'm just wondering what kind of search engine searches I'm going to garner after this post ;)

TV Tuesday

Just the facts, m'am…

Whether it was Barney Fife with one bullet in his pocket, or Lt. Columbo's "Just one more thing…", we could be sure in the old days that TV cops would wrap everything up neatly in 30 to 60 minutes. These days it may take a few episodes, but TV's top cops still manage to right most of the world's wrongs.

1. Who is your favorite (past or present) TV cop?

Andy Taylor, of course. 1st runner up: Joe Friday.

2. Which TV cop do you think was the most crooked, or the most inept?

Probably Roscoe P. Coltraine from "The Dukes of Hazzard"

3. Which TV show had the best ensemble cast of police officers?

"Hill Street Blues" (big shock)

~Bonus~ You need to hire a bodyguard for yourself. Which TV cop do you choose?

Well, if it was going to be a really really long deep undercover bodyguard duty with no other human interaction...um, probably Kim Delany's character from "NYPD Blue" ;) But if I really needed someone to protect me I'd pick Bobby Simone from "NYPD Blue".

Thanks for playing… Let's be careful out there!

TV Note: Thursday and Friday this week at 10/9 p.m. central, Court TV is running a 2-part documentary called "Just the Facts", dissecting the accuracy of Hollywood's depiction of police work. "Police work is years of boredom punctuated by seconds of sheer terror," says Bill Davis of the California State Police. Doesn't quite seem that way on TV, does it?

2004 Knoxville Area Theatre Coalition Awards

The nomination list for the 2004 Knoxville Area Theatre Coalition Awards is online at http://www.katcawards.org/.

The Oak Ridge Playhouse musical I was in, Company, has been nominated for Best Musical! Brian Hinman - a phenomenal talent, and a heck of a nice guy (say hi to him at Cat's Records on Kingson Pike the next time your're there) - has been nominated for Best Actor for that show, and our director, Terry Silver-Alford, has been nominated for Best Director. I blogged about my experiences somewhere around this area.

If you saw any plays in the Knoxville/Oak Ridge/Sevierville area last year, go to http://www.katcawards.org/ and vote for your favorite!

Smack Dab in the Middle

Take the IOP Political Personality Test

I scored as a religious centrist. Yep, that about sums it up nicely.

Volunteer Tailgate Party - Vol. XXIV

Thomas of Newsrack Blog is hosting the latest Volunteer Tailgate Party, a bi-weekly compilation of the best and brightest blatherings of the Rocky Top Brigade.

Let's Get Going....

Ok, so the Northern Alliance has this.

And the Bear Flag League has this.

C'mon, Rocky Top Brigade - we're falling behind! We're in danger of becoming the Big Sky Conference in the blogging Alliance world.... Any ideas? There are several local Knoxville RTB bloggers - Myself, South Knox Bubba, SayUncle, Hatamaran, Rich, Bjorn, and of course The InstyDeity. That would certainly be an interesting discussion with all of us at once ;) I'm not sure all of us could be in the same room together these days....

Let's think!

Off Day? Or Just Intoxicated?

I saw the Mercedes G500 on the way to work today.

What designer had a bad day when he designed this car? Ugh.