Repost: The Squirrels In My Yard Are Conspiring Against Me

This is a repeat of a post I did a couple years ago that I remembered when reading Newscoma and her friend the Squirrel Queen. I hope they like it, and take it in a tongue-in-cheek spirit ;).

The Squirrels In My Yard Are Conspiring Against Me

The squirrels in my yard are conspiring against me.
I know that they're watching me walk.
I go to the mailbox to get today's paper,
While they all talk their chattery talk.

Beady eyes flicker as I step through the leaves,
Their minds gauge and ponder my gait.
"Will he go left today? Go right? Try to sprint?"
The little fiends wonder with hate.

Up in the treetops, tiny pencils are drawing,
Charts of my daily routines.
I don't know this for certain, though I'm sure what I feel,
It's the reason I'm weak in the knees.

I find the newspaper, little protection that it is,
And make plans to return to my home.
Their plans, however, are much bigger and bolder
And require things like plastine and chrome.

But for now things are quiet, they nibble and pause,
Storing up knives and meat cleavers.
But for all their malevolance, still I must say,
Thank God they're just squirrels and not beavers.

Something I've Always Wondered...

It's said that we should drink Eight to ten 8-oz glasses of water a day (your mileage may vary).

Now, I drink a lot of iced tea. Sweet tea, to be precise - now there are benefits and detriments to drinking a lot of tea, but I do. I've always wondered how much of that 8-10 glasses of water are fulfilled with the tea? I probably drink at least 4 glasses of tea a day, maybe more depending on how many refills I get. Tea consists of obviously the drippings from the tea leaves and the equivilant of about a pack of sugar or sweetener per glass, but the rest if pure water. If I drank 8 glasses of tea a day, would I be getting the right amount of water? Or is the percentage way lower?

How many of you drink sweet tea? Do you use sugar or artifical sweetener? Is there anyone that actually drinks it unsweetened?


While I'm asking questions, how many of you are reading this post via an RSS Feedreader like Google Reader or Bloglines, and how many are actually accessing the site itself?

Inquiring minds want to know...

Win A Mouse That's Been Flattened

...or something like that.

Anyway, go here and leave a comment, and you could win a 2P Slim Mouse.

Except, you know, don't. Cause then I have a smaller chance to win... As of this post there are about 100 comments, plus with this link I get an additional 3 entries, so my odds are about 95-1. Which are still pretty good ;)

Things On My Mind Today

• Last night I jammed with several other guys on guitar at church after our contemporary service. I don't play guitar that often, so my fingers haven't built up calluses very well. Today the tips of the middle and ring fingers of my left hand are numb, and it feels very stranger to type with them. I kep makin mstakes
  
  
• Harry Potter finally arrives to me, 2 days after release, here at work sometime today. *cough cough* I think I'm beginning to feel poorly, round about 11:30 or so.... Last time that happened, strangely enough, was the day "Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith" opened two years ago. Strange thing, those flu bugs.
  
  So far I passed a huge stack of them at Krogers, glanced at the first page and moved on. Willpower.
  
  
• The top of my scalp
  
  
• The kids are off at Wesley Woods camp until Friday afternoon. Looks like a great time to....um. Well, let's see. We could...
  
  *blank look*
  
  World of Warcraft, anyone?
  
  
• If there's a funnier stand-up comic movie than this that's clean, I'd like to see it.
  

Don't Cross the Streams

In the instruction manual for my new Motorola cell phone:

Use and Care
3) Microwaves - Don't dry your phone in a microwave oven.


Ok, important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.


There's also this:

6) The ground - Don't drop your phone.

Because heaven help you if you drop your phone in, say, a pool of molten lava.

Happy Pi Day!

Nothing Wrong

Some of you may remember my adventures with the crash cart some weeks back.

I got the results from the gall bladder test - nothing wrong. Which is a good thing, except it doesn't answer my question as to why there's a pain in my side. Back to the drawing board, and more tests I suppose. Yippy.